Women find that a man’s ability and capacity for Presence is especially significant in opening their hearts and bodies and deepening the love and connection they share together. Marcia, who had been under a lot of pressure with her job, was feeling disembodied and unable to sustain the quality of her sexual connection with Kevin. “Before this job increased my workload, I couldn’t get enough of Kevin,” Marcia says. “Often, I would create special times for us to make love. But now the idea of sex feels unattainable, too much to handle, and burdensome. I can hardly feel my body and my desire for Kevin.” Kevin felt disappointed and hurt, and wondered what he could do to bring back “the magic” they had —before their sex life began dwindling. Continue reading
New guided meditation: Heart Kiss
We’re happy to announce the release of our new guided meditation for couples: “Heart Kiss.” This guided meditation is one of the tools we share with couples to use in cultivating a deeper and more connected relationship.
Get your copy and listen to it with your beloved and experience your journey of connection and soul to soul communion. If you’re single you can either hold space for yourself and imagine your inner beloved with you -or find a friend to try it with as an exercise of letting go and dropping in deeply.
The “Heart Kiss” guided meditation is one that we share with our clients to reconnect and experience their love and deep connection together.
This guided meditation takes couples into the “Heart Kiss” experience of love. We call it “Heart Kiss” because it feels like your hearts are kissing in a very tender and loving way as you sink deeper into the love you feel for each other. This audio-download includes preparation instructions, guided meditation journey, and explanation of principles and valuable insights produced by this simple and yet powerful guided meditation experience.
This guided meditation is for those who long to:
- align and connect within and together
- relax and release barriers to intimacy and connection
- release old patterns around their relationship, intimacy, and sex
- feel safe and loved while being vulnerable
- experience elevated and sacred connection
- tap into the state of timelessness and just be with your beloved
- dive deeper into love—beyond surface level relating
- mitigate the debilitating, distracting and fragmenting demands placed on relationship by daily life
- include a spiritual practice that enriches your relationship and nurtures you at the heart and soul levels
“The body is a device to calculate the astronomy of the spirit.” ~Rumi
What to do in Times of Relationship Challenge?
In our last Sacred Meme, Overcoming Relationship Challenges Part 1, we discussed the emotional and psychological process and outcome of conflict among partners in a relationship. The key idea is that both partners contribute to the emotional upset—and that conflicts are opportunities for each partner to go within and discover their contribution to the challenge at hand. Even though one partner may appear to have “caused” the conflict and the emotional upset in the other, it is almost always the case that the other partner has issues or wounds from past experiences that are being triggered and contributing to the amplitude of the upset. A deeper and more honest look at the situation from a higher, non-ego driven, perspective will reveal the upset partner’s judgements or beliefs that (when realized and consciously released with love) will moderate his/her upset and lead to personal growth and transformation—besides contributing to restoring harmony to the relationship.
Creating Space & “Being the Space for This”
Typically, when partners are upset they avoid each other and wait until the other person is no longer upset. If you try to prompt your partner to talk before he/she is ready because you can’t stand the emotional separation, it may be counterproductive. Your partner will need time to be clear about what it is that is bothering them—beyond the surface level. So trying to hasten reconciliation due to your own insecurities may result in only partial resolution and runs the risk of making things worse. However, this doesn’t mean you pull away your love and avoid your partner. Stay grounded and present, learn to tolerate emotional discomfort without “acting-out.” Learn to “be the space for this” and don’t take yourself away—physically or emotionally.
Thanks to all of you for your overwhelming support for our Sacred Memes blog post: Overcoming Relationship Challenges (Part 1) !!!
Our work with couples is about sharing the no B.S. of “what works” for relationships to thrive and be a fulfilling vehicle of co-evolution and growth that brings happiness and fulfillment. We’re glad you’ve responded and enjoyed the first part of this subject. In part 2 we give you five suggestions to make challenges and upset easier to handle and shorter in duration while reaping the most benefit from the process.
Here’s Hreem giving a preview of what to expect in part 2:
We’ll be posting part 2 soon, so stay tuned!
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I hate and love. And why, perhaps you’ll ask.
I don’t know: but I feel, and I’m tormented.
Deeply fulfilling relationships don’t just happen, they require persistent attention and a willingness to look beyond your personal point of view to include acceptance of your partner’s experience. Anyone who is in a relationship would agree that it can be both rewarding and challenging to love and live with another person. Contrary to the popular fairy tale belief of “happily ever-after,” in the real world there are ongoing challenges to relationship harmony that bring opportunities for upset to occur.
Many couples experience a haphazard relationship filled with cycles of upset followed by “make-up” sex. These cycles represent adolescent patterns of relating. Sacred Intimacy practices take you beyond these immature patterns to establish more mature, considerate and inclusive relating patterns. However, in so doing, both partners are opened to the hidden, “shadow,” places of their psyche. Consciously participated in, relationship becomes a vehicle of self-transformation and growth whose process can also present challenges to relationship harmony.
“Love is the Water of Life. Drink it down with heart and soul.”~Rumi
We all long to experience a love that satiates our thirst like cool water on a hot day, a love that inspires our heart and soul and restores our spirit like a long soak in a warm bath. Water-like love is fearless; it flows freely and effortlessly -is refreshing and replenishes our spirit from the long, hard trials of life. So, how can couples flow in the waters of love together?
The Water element helps bring balance, joy, and a sense of contentment and flow with life and what each moment brings. Having a “healthy” Water element in a relationship is restorative and revitalizing. Sacred Intimacy practices help couples restore and revitalize their relationship by connecting them to the water element, renewing and inspiring their relationship and allowing it to flourish and grow. For example: our Sacred Bathing ritual shows couples how to purposefully connect with and tune into the sensuality of water in sacred communion with their beloved. Continue reading
“With every breath I plant the seeds of devotion – I am a farmer of the Heart.” ~Rumi
All of us can be farmers of our hearts, and in a relationship there are two that farm their garden together. Sacred intimacy for Couples is like gardening. You can choose the size and type of garden you wish to share together. You may want a rose garden, a vegetable garden or one full of trees -or you might want a garden that includes a bit of everything and is there for all seasons. You may want flowers to enliven your senses, vegetables to sustain and nourish your body, and evergreens to give you hope and the promise of life.
However you imagine your garden, you need to begin with the basics. For a relationship, “Trust” and “Respect” is the good, rich, dark soil that encourages roots to grow deep. “Devotion” is what plants the right seeds that produce strong vibrant plants, and regular watering is the “Attention” each one gives to the relationship that enables beloveds to stay in flow with spirit and ensure full growth and longevity -creating sacred intimacy together. Continue reading
“Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere,
they’re in each other all along.”
Much has been written expressing the longing men and women have for the romantic ideal of a “Soul Mate” relationship. This ideal has been put so high on a pedestal that, for some, it seems unrealistic or out-of-reach to realize. And then there’s the uncomfortable question that many would rather just avoid asking: what if my current partner is not my soul-mate?
Well, fear not, we’re here to tell you that soul-mate relationships are made -not born! You CAN have a soul-mate relationship! In fact, we can show you how you can find/have your soul-mate relationship (and you don’t have to go searching for another partner either!)
Most people have what could be called an “Ego-mate” relationship. This is where the Ego-personality is the primary focus in the relationship—getting its needs met, accommodating and placating, “settling-for” or otherwise diminishing oneself for the sake of the relationship. Many men and women think they are “owned” by their partner in some emotional, or even physical/sexual way. Eventually, they find that they lose themselves in the relationship becoming slaves to trying (often futilely) to keep each other happy—dependent upon getting the approval, acceptance, and soothing they need from their partner. This phenomena is all too common and all too inevitably the cause of diminished self-respect and desire that suffocates a relationship and may eventually cause it to break up.
Being in a soul-mate relationship doesn’t mean that one partner has oversight, or is the judge, over the other. That type of relationship is made up of controlling each other by leveraging emotional triggers that only the ego-personality seeks fulfillment through -not the soul.
A soul-mate relationship is entirely different. It is based on two partners interacting with each other beyond ego-personality control issues—thereby creating a mutually respectful, honoring, and desire-filled loving relationship. It takes a lot of inner-work to be able to meet each other in this way but the results will create the soul-mate relationship heralded in romantic lore.
When each partner is able to rise above the ego-personality’s insecurity and connect with each other as autonomous whole-beings that are the source of their own validation, soothing, and acceptance then soul-mate love is freed to flourish and thrive -creating a truly fulfilling, dynamic and inspired relationship.
We can show you how to attain a soul-mate relationship and you don’t have to find a new partner to do so! You just need to be willing to do the inner-work to heal and become whole again. You’ll learn to identify the ways you “lose yourself” in your relationship, where you “fall to pieces” and how to reclaim all of those fractured pieces of yourself. You’ll learn four foundational abilities (and a fifth aspect to help you when you get stuck) that will enable you to create the soul-mate relationship you seek.
Experiencing a soul-mate relationship is not something you can just “turn-on”. There isn’t a quick fix and there isn’t some magical person out there that you just have to meet. It’s a process that will strengthen your self respect and awareness—and fulfill your innermost desires!
Contact us when you’re ready to begin and we’ll set up your first Skype session appointment!